I had started on this healthy journey. I was aiming to eat small, healthy sized portions of healthy food. I was aiming to exercise regularly, to start the day with a quick routine and make sure I go for a daily evening walk. I was aiming to eat dinner early so that I don’t eat anything after 8pm. I’ve been trying to eat less carbs, and more protein. I’ve been trying to eat more wholegrain instead of… Whatever the opposite of whole grain is. Partial grain?
This was all going well. (Okay, not really, I was only just beginning, but progress was being made.)
But now, now I’m just feeling like I’ve come to an impasse. It’s not that I don’t want to exercise and it’s not like I wanted to eat that second cereal bar after the big bag of skittles and the KFC for lunch. (Okay, maybe I did want the cereal bar. But hear me out..)
Of course I’ve got excuses:
– I did a decent amount of walking today, when I went out with my family earlier.
– It’s not like I chose to eat KFC, me and my family ate lunch together.
– I live with my family, so I eat dinner whenever it’s ready.
– There was a point when I was eating porridge and fresh berries for breakfast daily. But then, after I violently threw up a month ago and saw my extra smooth Ready Brek from a completely different angle, I’ve not been able to look at another bowl of porridge at all.
– Breakfast is the most important meal, so I might as well eat lots of it. (Cue second bowl of Crunchy Nut).
– Okay so I didn’t have to eat all the skittles today, but it was my treat. Everyone deserves treats.
– And cereal bars are healthy… right?
– I live at home… I can only really eat what’s in the house, and of course I can make food shopping suggestions, but not everyone wants to eat the way I do.
– I don’t have any of the exercise equipment I need to do important things like strength training.
The point is, I’m unintentionally finding ways to not do what I set out to do. Even writing this post has been a bit of a challenge. I started over an hour ago, and then conveniently (although completely unintentionally) found other things to do. Including eating dinner. (White rice, after 8pm, of course.)
This has to stop.
It’s not like I’m lacking inspiration or motivation. Looking down at my tummy is motivation enough. I look at all the inspiring photos of super fit people on Instagram. I’ve liked and screenshot all the suggested daily workout routines. I lie on my bed and watch videos of people exercising; adding the videos to my ‘fitness’ playlist. So why don’t I just do it?
Why don’t I? I don’t know. Maybe I need a kick. Or a firm hand. I don’t know.
Nevertheless, I am not giving up. Perhaps I’m just taking a rain check. Well, not really, I’m about to go for a walk now. But I can bet I’ll have a sweet or two when I’m back.
I do have self control, I do have self control, I do have self control…
Anyone else facing or ever faced a similar situation?